Genesis 2:18-24; Hebrews 2: 9-11; Mark 10: 2-16 [2-12]One afternoon, according to
an old Sufi tale, a man named Nasruddin was sitting in a cafe, drinking tea with
a friend and talking about life and love. “How come you never got married, Nasruddin?”
asked his friend at one point. “Well,” said Nasruddin, “to tell you the truth, I
spent my youth looking for the perfect woman. In Cairo, I met a beautiful and intelligent
woman, with eyes like dark olives, but she was unkind. Then in Baghdad, I met a woman
who was a wonderful and generous soul, but we had no interests in common. One woman
after another would seem just right, but there would always be something missing.
Then one day, I met her. She was beautiful, intelligent, generous and kind. We had
everything in common. In fact, she was perfect.” “Well,” said Nasruddin’s friend,
“what happened? Why didn’t you marry her?” Nasruddin sipped his tea reflectively.
“Well,” he replied. ”It’s a sad thing; seems she was looking for the perfect man.”
In today’s gospel Jesus reminds us that an imperfect man has no right to divorce his
equally imperfect wife whom God has given him as His perfect gift. Introduction:
Today’s scripture readings are about the bond of love that marriage creates between
a man and a woman, a bond that God wishes to be permanent. They challenge the spouses
to practice the fidelity of their ever-faithful God. The first reading, from
Genesis, explains God’s original plan concerning sex and marriage. It teaches us
that God made man and woman for each other. Hence, in marriage, they are no longer
two but one, united by an unbreakable bond. The reading also describes the institution
of marriage and shows that monogamy was God's intention from the very beginning. The
responsorial psalm expands the marital theme of the first reading and the gospel
to include the children born of the union. Since the children enrich the lives of
their parents, the psalmist prays: “May you see your children’s children.” The
second reading, from Hebrews, reminds us that Jesus became one of us, bone of
our bone and flesh of our flesh. As one of us, he “tasted death for everyone.” He
was not only the Sacrifice, but also the High Priest. We are now his brothers and
sisters, bonded with him, and through him bonded with God. Thus, Christ became the
brother and savior of all people – the good and the bad, the divorced, gays, lesbians
-- everyone. Jesus’ prohibition of divorce can be a source of suffering for those
who face difficult married lives. Paul suggests that we have to accept that pain
as Jesus did, as the suffering we should endure on the way to glory. Today’s gospel
gives Christ’s explicit teaching on marriage and divorce, the divine origin of marriage,
the sacredness of family life and the indissolubility of marriage. These are difficult
messages to preach in a society that embraces co-habitation and ignores both the escalating
divorce statistics and divorce’s dangerous consequences. The Gospel teaches that
family life is sacred, that husband and wife are partners with equal rights and that
the destruction of the family by divorce will result in the destruction of society.
The first reading: Genesis 2: 18-24: The creation story in chapter two
of Genesis shows that the ancient Israelites knew the importance of man and woman
being joined one to another. The woman is made of the rib of man, and, hence, she
is “bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh.” Figuratively, “bone” stands for strength
and “flesh” stands for weakness. Woman’s origin makes her one with man. They are bonded
in God’s deliberate creation of them. The clearest expression of this bonding is in
the marriage of a man and woman, and their co-creation, with God, of a new family
unit. Woman is found to be a “suitable partner” for man. That is why, God says, “a
man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife” with the result that, “the
two of them become one flesh.” The Genesis text attributes two essential qualities
to marriage: unity (the two shall become one) and complementarity or mutual interdependence.
The theme of marital bonding, which is essential for human fulfillment and happiness
in marriage and families, appears in both the first reading and today’s gospel, and
explains Jesus’ teaching on marriage and divorce. Divorce reveals an absence of marital
bonding. The second reading (Hebrews 2: 9-11): The Letter to the
Hebrews is a sermon which explains the meaning of the early Christian confession that
Christ died for us and our sins. It presents Christ as the great High Priest who has
willingly offered himself on our behalf. He is both the perfect Sacrifice and the
Priest who offers it. Today’s passage from Hebrews says that, by the grace of God,
Jesus tasted death for us all, that he was our leader on the way to salvation and
that we are now his brothers and sisters. Christ was thus “perfect” for fulfilling
the task of bringing us into a new relationship with God, in which we may now approach
God with confidence and even boldness. Christ became the brother and savior of all
people – the good and the bad, the divorced, gays, lesbians – everyone. Jesus’ prohibition
of divorce can be a source of suffering for those who experience difficult married
lives. But Paul suggests that we have to accept pain the way Jesus did, as the suffering
we should endure on the way to glory. The context: King Herod had married
his brother's wife, Herodias, violating the Mosaic Law. John the Baptist showed courage
in condemning the king in public and lost his head for it. In today’s gospel the
Pharisees were setting a trap for Jesus, asking whether he agreed with his cousin
John on the non-legitimacy of divorce. They were trying to trick him, to see if he
would criticize the Mosaic tradition and alienate the people. But Jesus used the occasion
to declare unequivocally that the bond of marriage comes from God, not man, and that
it is permanent and indissoluble: “What God has joined, man must not separate”. High
ideal and low practice: The Jews had a high ideal of marriage and their rabbis
taught: “the very altar sheds tears when a man divorces the wife of his youth.” But
their practice was far from that ideal, and divorce was common and easy. The wife
was considered to be a husband's property with no legal rights whatsoever. The husband
could draft a certificate of divorce which stated: "She is not my wife and I am not
her husband." He would give this paper to his wife and tell her to leave. They were
then legally divorced. There were two interpretations prevalent in Jewish theological
schools concerning the Mosaic Law on divorce by which Moses allowed divorce when the
husband found “some indecency” in his wife. "When a man, after marrying a
woman and having relations with her, is later displeased with her because he finds
in her something indecent, he writes out a bill of divorce and hands it to her, thus
dismissing her from his house” (Deuteronomy 24:1). The Shammai School interpreted
“indecency” as adultery, while the Hillel School interpreted it as anything which
the husband did not like in his wife’s word, behavior, actions, or even her appearance.
Jesus’ stand: Jesus did not claim to introduce a new teaching. He reminded
the Jews that his doctrine went back to the original intention of God. Citing the
book of Genesis, Jesus proved that God made us male and female and commanded that
"the two shall become one flesh." He then drew the conclusion that “they are no longer
two, but one body” – partners with equal rights. He declared that no man was allowed
to separate what God had joined together (Mt 19:6). In contrast with the prevailing
culture, Jesus presents man and woman as having equal rights and their marriage as
essentially a permanent relationship. ("In creating men 'male and female,' God gives
man and woman an equal personal dignity" C.C.C-2334). These words might have reminded
the Pharisees of Yahweh’s warning given through his last prophet: “I hate divorce”
(Malachi 2:16). Jesus also explains that Moses' permission for divorce was only a
temporary concession to control the growing rate of divorce even in his time, by introducing
a law governing divorce. Jesus adds that it was because of the hard-heartedness of
the Jewish men that Moses allowed such a concession. By negating an interpretation
of Dt. 24:1-6 that allowed easy divorce, Jesus says, in effect, that where such a
possibility of injustice and inequality exists in marriage, there can be no true marriage
according to the intent of Genesis. According to the Mosaic sanction, men were allowed
to divorce their wives, but wives were not able to divorce their husbands. By denying
the man’s right to divorce, Jesus places the husband and wife on an equal footing
in marriage and teaches that no Mosaic regulation dealing with a temporary situation
can alter the permanency and unity of marriage which God intended. The Catholic
teaching: Today’s reading from Mark’s Gospel, taken with Mt. 5:31-32; Mt. 19:3-9;
Luke. 16:18; and 1 Cor 7:10-11, is the main source from which the Catholic Church
derives Jesus’ teaching on the sacramental nature of marriage and its indissolubility.
Christian marriage involves both a sacred and legal contract between a man and woman
and at the same time is rooted in a special covenant with the Lord. That is why Jesus
states that a valid marriage is permanent. Hence, the Church has always firmly taught
that a sacramental marriage between Christians, in which there has been true matrimonial
consent and consummation, is absolutely indissoluble, except by the death of one of
the spouses. The Catechism of the Catholic Church summarizes the Church’s teaching:
“Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract,
to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death...... Divorce
is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society.
This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by
the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious
effect which makes it truly a plague on society” (CCC nos. 2384, 2385). Stability
in marriage: Of course, it is not always easy for the two partners in a marriage
to get along with each other. The husband and wife bring to the marriage their strengths
and weaknesses, loves and hates, hurts and wounds, hopes and fears. Hence, the first
requisite for a lasting marriage is that the spouses learn to accept each other as
they are: two imperfect and vulnerable human beings. They are God’s gift to each
other: “I will make a suitable partner for him.” They must learn that healing the
wounds of family life is as necessary as healing the wounds in the body. In Familiaris
Consortio (n. 17), Pope John Paul II encourages families with the following plea:
"Family, become what you are!” This echoes the Second Vatican Council, which calls
the family, "the intimate community of life and love in which the partners are nourished
spiritually and physically, accept one another as they are, and adjust to each other,
deriving strength through prayer, the Word of God, the sacrament plus guidance and
counseling...” When the marriage relationship breaks down and reconciliation is not
possible, the Church recognizes the right of the couple to separate and live apart
permanently. If divorced Catholics then enter into a civil marriage, they are allowed
to receive Eucharistic Communion only if they refrain from sexual relations. Life
messages: 1) We need to reach out with Christian sympathy to the divorced and
problem families. There must be compassion, and a challenge to sin no more. Those
who are divorced must be taught that God has not abandoned them. The parish community
needs to accept them with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. It is the duty of
the Christian community to love and support them. We must reach out to those who
have been hurt by bad marriages. We may not realize the depth of their pain, but
we must be aware of our own frailty. Those who are divorced and remarried must not
be excluded from our community. While the Church cannot sanction remarriage unless
the previous marriage was declared annulled by the diocesan marriage tribunal, we
must make it clear that the church is not issuing a condemnation. “They should be
encouraged to listen to the Word of God, to attend the Sacrifice of the Mass, to persevere
in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to community efforts for justice,
to bring up their children in the Christian faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice
of penance and thus implore, day by day, God's grace” (CCC 1651). The National Catechetical
Directory for Catholics of the United States says: “Divorced persons and their children
should be welcomed by the parish community and made to feel truly a part of parish
life. Catechesis of the Church’s teaching on the consequences of remarriage after
divorce is not only necessary, but will be supportive for the divorced” (No. 131). (adapted
from the reflections of Fr. Tony Kadavil)